Goats, Glamping & a Very Muddy Renaissance Faire

Once again, I’m sure you’re not surprised to hear that it’s been a busy couple of weeks here on the Funny Farm. But this time, it’s been immensely busy. You don’t really realize how much effort goes into leaving a homestead for a few days until you actually try to do it. We were only going away for three nights and four days, but preparing to leave felt like a project all on its own.

And why were we leaving? The Ren Faire, of course. Renaissance Faire, for those not in the know. I’ll start at the beginning—briefly—because otherwise this blog is going to turn into a 40-minute read.

Back in March, Addy booked Ren Faire tickets for practically everybody we know, along with campsites for the weekend. Ever since then, I’ve been trying to find a farm sitter. I had a couple of people say yes and then not show up. I had a couple come over to look around and decided they weren’t a good fit. I had nearly made peace with the fact that I might have to stay home, take care of the homestead, and let Addy go without me.

Then, while working for Louis, Addy was talking with a young woman about the Ren Faire and how excited we were to go, while doing marketing for the farm boxes. She happened to have an older sister who happened to love animals. And somehow, within about a week of Addy making an effort, we had a farm sitter. Thank goodness!

I know I’ve mentioned Eve before, but finding her really was pivotal to everything we’ve been doing over the last couple of weeks. Once we knew we could actually leave, we had to get serious about preparing the homestead for someone else to run it.

While I was teaching Eve the routine one day, it was raining, and I found myself running back and forth to the grain shed to refill our bucket. When you’re teaching someone who is learning, everything naturally takes a little longer than it does when you’ve been doing the same chores every day for three years. It made me realize pretty quickly that our current setup wasn’t going to make things particularly easy for a farm sitter.

Thankfully, Addy had built the new milk room with enough space to store a couple of our grain bins. So we finally moved two of the steel garbage cans up there—one filled with extra grain and another with our pre-mixed daily feed. Such a simple change, but oh my goodness, has it ever made things easier. No more running down to the grain shed halfway through milking because we need another scoop of something.

A couple of the other changes we made were really simple things, like finally labelling the remaining steel garbage cans so everyone could easily tell what was in what. It’s one of those things that we don’t need labels for because we use everything every day, but when somebody else is coming in to take care of the farm, suddenly you realize how much of your routine just lives inside your head.

I also made a real effort to save enough jars for Eve to use for milk while we were gone. She didn’t have any use for keeping the milk herself, so I needed to make sure there were at least two half-gallon jars available for every day we were away. Success! Of course, that meant we came home to another fridge full of milk, but that was a problem for future me.

There were so many other little things to think about too. We did the yard work so we wouldn’t come home to a jungle. We tidied the kitchen. We made sure the battery for the milking machine was charged. None of these things takes a week to do on its own, but there are so many little details to remember when you’re trying to make it as easy as possible for someone else to step into your routine.

And then, of course, we had to pack. We were camping for the weekend. Well… glamping. We don’t really camp. We bring a 24-foot travel trailer that’s basically a tiny apartment. Along with all the normal camping supplies, we had to pack our costumes because obviously you can’t go to a Ren Faire wearing regular clothes.

Josh was staying home, and he helped by taking care of the big dogs, the inside cats, and the birds. Eve handled the outside farm chores and, most importantly for me, the milking. I just felt much better having someone specifically responsible for that job while we were gone. They both did great with their respective jobs, and knowing everything at home was being taken care of made it much easier for me to actually relax while we were away.

We also made sure Josh had lots of easy food in the house. His requests were perogies, sausage, and pizza. Easy enough. And there were certainly plenty of vegetables around because, as I’ll get into later, the garden is definitely popping right now.

Finally, after what felt like an entire week of preparing to leave for a four-day trip, Friday arrived. Of course, farm chores don’t care that you’re going on vacation, so the morning still started with milking as usual. Eve came over, and we did one last rundown of the poultry and rabbits. Then came the final round of packing—all those things you can’t really put in the trailer until the last minute, like pillows, blankets, toothbrushes, and everything else you suddenly remember as you’re trying to walk out the door.

We had also waited until practically the last possible moment to de-winterize the trailer. I did most of that the night before because apparently that’s how we operate around here. But finally, the trailer was packed, hitched up, de-winterized, and ready to go.

We pulled out around 11:30 Friday morning and met up with Al and Constance also towing their trailer; as a caravan, we headed toward Shediac, New Brunswick. It’s about a two-and-a-half-hour drive from home, and with a stop for lunch along the way, we arrived at the campground at around 3:00 p.m. Check-in had technically been at 1:00 pm, but nobody was in a panic.

As I said, our friends Al and Constance were camping with us, and we arrived together. He helped get the trailers parked and somehow had both of them exactly where they needed to be in what felt like less than ten minutes. He’s awesome.

Once we were parked, we started setting everything up and settling in. The Ren Faire itself didn’t start until Saturday, but Addy was able to head over Friday evening and pick up our bracelets ahead of time. Constance had her whole family with her, we’d both brought our dogs (we brought Marigold and Bucky – not Ronin and Shougun!), so Constance and I stayed back at the campground while Al and Addy ran around, picked up the bracelets, and stopped at a couple of stores. By the end of the evening, everything was set up, everyone was settled, and we were officially camping. Or glamping. Whatever. One thing I will say: camping with good friends makes even the chores feel like part of the fun.

The next morning, we didn’t have to get up and milk goats. It was crazy. We didn’t exactly sleep in, though. Apparently, after doing the same morning routine for so long, our bodies have decided we don’t need alarms anymore. Addy was awake around 6:00, and I finally gave in and got up around 6:30. Addy was already bustling around the little trailer kitchen trying to make coffee when I peeked around the corner and noticed something. Why was every single towel we brought on the counter?

Well, our trailer Keurig and our Nespresso machine had apparently succumbed to spending the winter in the trailer. I guess there had been water trapped somewhere inside both machines, because they leaked everywhere. Yes, yes. We have a Nespresso machine in our travel trailer. I already told you—we don’t really camp.

Thankfully, Al and Constance had a working coffee maker. They weren’t awake yet, but their coffee maker was sitting outside on the table underneath their awning, so Addy wandered over and ninja-made us some coffee. Crisis temporarily averted.

But I was sitting there drinking my borrowed campground coffee thinking, Okay, this is terrible. I need an espresso maker in the trailer. So what did we do? We jumped in the truck and drove into Shediac to Canadian Tire to buy a new one. As luck would have it, the back-to-school sales were on, so we even got a good deal. And just like that, the camping trip was saved. I could have a latte. LOL

Our emergency espresso-maker trip actually worked out pretty well because, on the way to Canadian Tire, we got to see a little bit of Shediac. If we hadn’t needed to go out that morning, we probably wouldn’t have seen any of it. Most importantly, we got to see the giant lobster! I think it’s the biggest lobster in Canada. There were also a couple of those touristy head-hole cutouts with lobsters doing different things, so obviously Addy and I had to pose for pictures.

We drove through the cute little downtown area and got to see a bit more of Shediac than we’d planned, so our coffee-machine disaster accidentally turned into a mini sightseeing trip. Then it was back to the campground, where we had a quick breakfast and started getting ready for the reason we’d come in the first place. It was time to put on our medieval stuff and head to the Ren Faire.

Addy decided to be the belle of the ball, so to speak. His original plan had been to 3D print some armour for the Ren Faire, but he quickly realized he wasn’t going to have enough time to finish it. So he pivoted. He wore part of his Renaissance Faire outfit, mixed in part of his Star Wars cosplay, and topped the whole thing off with these enormous black foam wings.

He looked pretty impressive. He was stopped constantly for photos and chats throughout the day. Trinket trading is also a big thing at the Ren Faire, and people were so impressed with his outfit that quite a few just gave him trinkets without asking for anything in return. He had brought his own, though, so he still did plenty of trading.

My outfit was a little more low-key. I wore a peasant-style blouse with a corset or stays, layered skirts, long sleeves, sandals, and a flower crown. Good enough for me! All of our friends dressed up too, which made the whole experience even more fun.

The Ren Faire itself almost felt like a convention, except outside and with a lot more medieval clothing, horses, and weapons. There were also a lot of lines. After waiting in line to get into the Faire, our friend Al volunteered to wait in another line for the food and drink tickets. That ended up taking him something like three hours. He deserves some sort of award for that.

In the meantime, the rest of us wandered around the marketplace and checked out the vendors. There were workshops and activities happening throughout the grounds, plus a camel and some llamas, because apparently those belong at a Renaissance Faire too.

One of my favourite things we watched that first day was the horsemanship demonstration. There was a ring suspended in the middle of the course, and the riders had long poles that they had to guide through the ring as they rode past. Kind of like jousting, except without actually hitting another person with a lance and all the legal liabilities that would probably come with that. They also had another target that looked like a round wooden shield mounted on a pole. The riders would strike it as they passed and send it spinning. The riders were really impressive. Most of them were women, and they were clearly very experienced. One woman had her horse dressed with this beautiful mossy-looking skirt and flowers around its legs. The horse seemed pretty high-strung, and she handled it incredibly well. Part of me kept wondering whether the horse was spooking because of everything it was wearing, but what do I know? I don’t ride horses.

There was also one rider in full armour on horseback, which was pretty spectacular to see. And then came the full-contact armoured combat.

Oh. My. Gosh.

These guys were dressed head to toe in metal armour, swinging swords and what looked like small axes at each other, and they were not holding back. The sound of metal smashing into metal was crazy. Watching it in person really makes you appreciate just how intense that kind of fighting must have been.

Eventually, our hero Al successfully returned with the food and drink tickets, and we finally got to eat. There were giant turkey legs, smoked ribs, mac and cheese, French fries—all the appropriate Ren Faire foods.

At one point Addy and I walked back to the campground to check on the dogs. They were happily hanging out in the air-conditioned trailer, but we took them out for a walk, made sure everybody was comfortable, and then headed back to join the group.

I think we pretty much shut the Faire down that first day. It only ran until around 7:00 p.m., and we stayed nearly until the end. Then it was back to the campground, where Al made smash burgers for everyone. Amalie and Stefan were camping with us too, sleeping in their truck tent, and we finished off the night sitting around the fire together having a drink. Great costumes, good friends, horses, armoured combat, giant turkey legs, smash burgers, and a campfire. I’d call day one a success.

We knew the forecast was calling for a wee bit of rain on Sunday. Saturday had been hot and sunny, and Sunday was definitely going to be different. We just didn’t realize exactly how different.

We started the morning with a delicious breakfast at the campground, and honestly, the weather didn’t seem too bad. It was misting a little, but nothing we couldn’t handle. We figured maybe the rain would even work in our favour. Fewer people, shorter lines—we could work with that.

When we arrived at the Faire, the lines actually were better. They were also paying a little more attention at the entrance that day. Addy’s weapon was checked and had to be peace-bonded, which essentially meant securing it into its scabbard with zip ties.

Thankfully, his enormous black wings are made out of foam, so getting them wet wasn’t really a problem. Which was good, because we certainly tested that theory. I think we’d been inside for maybe half an hour when the rain really started. It came and went throughout the day, sometimes lighter and sometimes absolutely pouring.

Surprisingly, there were still a lot more people there than I expected. I thought Sunday might be a ghost town because of the weather, but apparently Ren Faire people are a hardy bunch. We actually got to do quite a few of the things we’d wanted to do. One of them was an ear-cuff workshop. When I heard “ear cuffs,” I pictured those little semicircle pieces of metal that clip around your ear, and I thought maybe we’d be decorating those. Nope. We were making wire elf ears decorated with beads. Even better.

Constance, Sky, and I had only been on the waiting-list side, but all three of us managed to get into the workshop. It lasted about an hour, and although the tent was so hot, the instructor did a great job, and the finished ears were really cool. Afterward, we went and visited the camel again. Constance and Sky headed over to an exotic animal area where they had snakes, iguanas, a cockatoo, and other animals to see and pet. I went in a slightly different direction. I found a tarot reader. I believe her name was Miranda, although I can’t remember if she had a specific business name. I sat down for a quick tarot reading, and it was fascinating. Obviously it was fairly generalized—she didn’t even ask my name or astrological sign—but it was really interesting all the same, and I’m glad I decided to try it.

We also did some more shopping. There was one vendor whose bug-bite ointment I really wanted to buy more of, but unfortunately they had completely sold out. Thankfully, Addy had developed a bit of a rapport with the owner, and they let him take the sample container that was left at the booth. The business is called Neverending Apothecary, and if you ever happen to see them out in the wild somewhere in New Brunswick, I highly recommend checking them out. That bug-bite ointment really does work.

We even managed to get some drinks and food without spending half the day in line. I bought myself a meat pie, which felt particularly appropriate considering where we were. At one point, while Constance and Sky were still visiting the exotic animals, Addy and I went back to watch the armoured combat again. Except this time it was happening in the pouring rain.

Those guys were fighting full-force in what had basically become a mud pit, wearing full metal armour and still swinging away at each other like the weather wasn’t even happening. I mean… ouch. Armour or not, getting hit like that has to hurt. Add in slippery mud and pouring rain, and it was even more impressive to watch than the day before. I’m told nobody got hurt, which frankly seems like a small miracle.

We headed back to the campground Sunday evening and had a pretty early night. Al roasted some chicken in his infrared propane cooker, and it was really good. Constance made some yummy potatoes that we cooked in our air fryer, and we had coleslaw on the side. It was a great dinner after another very busy day. Everyone was pretty tired, so it was an early night for most of us. Constance and I stayed up a little longer, chatting and sitting by the propane fire. It was a really nice, quiet ending to a very full weekend.

The next morning was pack-up day, and pack-up day is always a little crazy. But before heading all the way home, there was one more place we wanted to see. Just down the road from the campground was Parlee Beach Provincial Park. We’d heard it had a beautiful sandy beach and great swimming, so we couldn’t be that close and not check it out. And it really was beautiful. See the pictures! The beach was gorgeous, the sand was lovely, and it’s definitely somewhere we’d like to come back to. I could easily see us camping in the area again just so we could spend a day playing at the beach.

After that, it was finally time to head home. Happily, everybody at the Funny Farm was doing great. Eve had done a wonderful job while we were away, and we were so grateful to have found her. Being able to leave for a few days and know that the animals were being properly cared for made such a difference.

Then came the unpacking. We’re actually still trying to unpack, if I’m being completely truthful. But the trailer is emptied, we’re home, everyone is happy, and life around here is slowly getting back to normal. Kind of.

I have to say, we were only off the property for four days, but the garden? The garden is going crazy. Which is on brand, really. Funny Farm and all.

The pole beans are now much taller than their trellis, so they’ve apparently decided the solution is to climb all over each other. There’s basically a giant nest of bean vines at the top of the trellis now, and they’re all producing beans, so I’m not complaining.

The sunflower grew like a foot while we were gone. Okay, maybe not a foot, but at least eight inches, and the flowers are getting really close to opening. The squash is doing amazingly well and is happily taking over everything around it. The Swiss chard, kale, and pretty much everything else are thriving too.

Even the tomatoes are looking really good! We might actually get a few tomatoes this year, which I’m pretty impressed by. One of the biggest surprises was the grapes. When we left, they were all still little and green, and when we came home, some of them had already started turning purple. That’s really exciting to see.

Of course, the weeds also took full advantage of our absence and are a little crazy, but we’ll ignore those for a minute because the flowers are beautiful and the rest of the garden is looking fantastic.

Even our figs out in the front yard beside the Starlink are actually growing figs this year! There are only three or four of them, and they still have to make it all the way to maturity, but I’ll take it. Last year we didn’t get any.

Four days. That’s all we were gone. Apparently, the garden didn’t need us nearly as much as we thought it did.

Of course, I’ve missed a whole bunch of stuff. There are so many little things I could talk about from the last couple of weeks, but do you really want to be here reading for an hour? Probably not.

We’ve had quite a few evenings around the fire pit, which has been really nice. I especially love that our outside cats, who could literally go anywhere they want, usually choose to hang around the fire with us. There’s something pretty cozy about sitting outside by the fire with the animals gathered nearby.

We’ve also been doing a little more work on the rabbit colony. I don’t think we even have pictures of the progress for this blog, but believe me, progress has been made.

And now Addy and I are off work again this week, although “vacation” might be a generous description. We’ve been working on bringing part of a deck over to our property for my parents. They bought a mini home that came with a deck, except the deck was very clearly not built with moving it in mind. So we’re basically cannibalizing it and bringing home whatever pieces we can manage on a rented 20-foot trailer.

But you know what? I think I’ll save that story for next time. There’s already enough going on in this one.

And I think that’s probably a good place to wrap up this update before it really does turn into an hour-long read. It’s been a very full couple of weeks, from all the preparation it took just to leave the homestead, to an amazing—and very wet—weekend at the Ren Faire, coming home to a garden that apparently grew just fine without us, and jumping straight back into projects around the property.

As always, thank you so much for making it all the way to the bottom and continuing to follow along with our adventures here on the Funny Farm. We really do appreciate every read, comment, and bit of encouragement. And I’d love to know: what’s growing like crazy in your garden right now? Are you harvesting already, or are you still impatiently waiting for something to ripen?

Until next time, enjoy what’s left of summer, embrace a little bit of crazy, and we’ll see you back here for the next update from the Funny Farm.