Boot Squirrel & Other Funny Farm Tales

Well, what a couple of weeks it’s been here on the Funny Farm.

Things have felt a little crazier than usual lately, and the first story that comes to mind is the mystery animal that somehow ended up stuck in our sunroom. At first, I was convinced it was a mouse. Gizmo and Garfield were both very interested in getting behind the fridge, and then Bucky — who was going back and forth outside for bathroom breaks — became equally obsessed with the same spot. Naturally, I assumed one of the cats had brought a mouse inside, thought it was dead, and then released it as a “gift.” Thanks for nothing, guys. I mean… thanks for everything, guys.

One morning, while I was standing by the sunroom door letting the dogs out, something ran full-on into my leg. Not brushed past — whacked. I looked down, thinking, what on earth was that? It was definitely bigger than a mouse. I searched around, checked the shoe rack by the door, and couldn’t see anything. I brought the dogs back inside, left the main door cracked with the screen door closed, and waited.

That’s when a red squirrel launched out of the shoe rack and straight into my winter boot.

Suddenly, it made sense why my boot had been sitting in the middle of the sunroom instead of neatly where I usually leave it. I’m fairly sure the squirrel had been sleeping in there overnight. I mean, smart squirrel — it’s a minus-40 rated boot — but also… ew. I locked everyone inside, picked up the boot, shook it out, and evicted the squirrel back outdoors where it ran under the stairs. I checked under the sun porch the next day and didn’t see him, so hopefully that was the end of that little adventure. Pretty nuts. Pun fully intended. I wasn’t fast enough to get a photo of the sheinagans.

The weather, meanwhile, has fully switched into winter mode. I know we talk about the weather a lot here, especially in winter, but this year has been particularly icy. Keeping water broken up and available for the animals has been a daily challenge, but we’re fully up to it. Daytime highs have been around minus seven, with mornings closer to minus ten during chores, and we’ve even had it dip as low as minus thirty-six with the wind chill. I am very grateful for the heated vests Santa brought us for Christmas. Pat on my own back.

Despite the cold, everyone is doing well. I don’t see any signs of suffering in the animals, and we’ve adjusted routines where needed. The livestock guardian dogs now get both breakfast and dinner to give them the extra calories they need to stay warm. I offer them shelter in the sunroom every winter, and every winter they decline. They prefer being curled up like puppy donuts in a snowbank, and they’re perfectly happy that way.

The goats are also thriving, and their pregnancies are becoming more obvious, especially with the older girls — the ones for whom this isn’t their first rodeo. They’re round, fluffy, and adorable. The juniors, the first-timers, are starting to round out too, just not nearly as much as their mamas yet.

We finally decided to move all the bucks together as well. Bron was the last one still hanging out with the girls, so this past weekend we bribed him with a cup of grain and moved him over to the buck pen. Now all five girls are together in the upper goat run, and the three boys — Bron, Draco, and our wether Cosmo — are settled into the buck area.

The girls seem to be enjoying being just the girls and are sorting out their pecking order now that Bron, who was very much the boss, has left. Bron has quickly established himself as the boss of the boys too. Thankfully, Cosmo and Draco are good buddies and tend to stick together, often running away from Bron as a team and keeping each other company. Nobody’s hurt, nobody’s fighting — everyone seems to be adjusting well.

Feeding time has been entertaining. I added a third grain bowl so there wouldn’t be any fighting. Bron rotates through all of them, while Cosmo and Draco try to eat together until Bron joins them. They all shuffle between bowls until the grain is gone — musical grain bowls. It’s actually hilarious to watch. While that’s happening, I’m usually whacking ice out of their water buckets with a mallet. Once that’s done, they get topped up with water and hay and are set until evening.

Addy has been doing a similar routine with the girls. Missy and Tessy are still sharing their grain with their kids from last season, which occasionally results in some head-butting — nothing dangerous, just goat arguments. Ally doesn’t have kids with her this year, since we sold both of hers last season, so she usually gets to eat her grain alone in the stanchion area. I’m really hoping to change that this year. If Ally has a girl, I fully plan on keeping one of her does.

As the daylight has slowly started to stretch, we’ve noticed the first signs of seasonal change in the poultry. Tom, our turkey, has been warming back up to gobbling again. Over the winter, he usually stops, since there’s no point in courting when the girls are seasonal layers. As the days get longer, though, he starts to work his way back into full gobble mode — usually sometime in mid-February. I’ve even managed to get a few pictures of him lately with his tail fanned out and his head shifting between red and blue. He’s usually the first sign that the birds are noticing the change in sunlight.

Our Silkie chickens are laying again, though more often than not, we find the eggs cracked because they’ve frozen. We still save those and feed them to our livestock guardian dogs, who happily enjoy them with dinner. The chickens in the big coop that sleep with the turkeys — American Bresse — aren’t laying right now. They’re turning three this spring, and since we don’t supplement with extra light, they typically stop laying until warmer weather returns. If they start up again, great. If not, I may be pivoting our chicken plans and trying a different breed.

The quail are doing really well and are surprisingly hardy, though they aren’t laying either, which makes sense given the cold and lack of supplemental light. I’ve got big plans for them this year — I’d love to incubate some eggs and increase the flock, and we’re planning to redesign their setup to make it easier to care for.

The rabbits are also doing well. We still have three — two does and a buck — and Addy changes their water at least twice a day. They’re eating well but will need more space eventually. The plan is to move the quail into the rabbits’ current area and give the rabbits an upgrade later on, hopefully this year.

The ducks continue to be absolute champions. Weather doesn’t seem to bother them much as long as they have a dry place to warm their feet. They’re the first ones who need water topped up by lunchtime because they splash and sit in it until the bowl is completely empty — usually before it even has a chance to freeze. They aren’t laying right now either, and the goose remains just as angry at everything as ever. Maverick is a very good guard goose, loves his ducks, and doesn’t particularly like us, which is kind of his whole job.

Inside, everyone is doing well too. The cats are clearly bored, but they also don’t love going outside when it’s this cold — which, honestly, I don’t blame them for. Who wants to venture out into a blizzard when there’s a perfectly good bathroom option indoors? It does mean double-time on litter box duty with three cats in the house, but we love them all the same.

Bucky and Marigold don’t get that luxury, so they’ve been braving the cold for brief bathroom trips. Sometimes Bucky will run out, pee as fast as possible, and sprint right back in like, “Nope. I’ll wait until later for the rest.” His personality is fully intact.

Marigold is doing okay. She’s not too keen on being brushed or groomed anymore and seems more sensitive to it now. I still do my best to trim her bangs and keep her comfortable, but I mostly let the inside dogs stay fluffy through the winter. There’s no point trimming them just to put sweaters on — we’ll save haircuts for the end of March.

She’s slowing down, though. She doesn’t come upstairs anymore, and I think she knows she wouldn’t be able to get back down on her own. She still does well going in and out for bathroom breaks, and sometimes she can jump down from the couch on her own — other times she needs help. She’s fourteen now, which is a lot of dog years, and honestly she’s doing great for her age. She enjoys treats, dinnertime is her favourite part of the day, and every now and then she’ll still do her little bum wiggle and try to give you a hug like she always has. It’s really nice to see that she’s still with us. Some days, though, I do worry about her.

Another thing we got up to recently was trying goat meat for the first time. I found some stewing goat at the grocery store and thought it was probably time. We haven’t processed any of our goats yet, but with kidding season coming up, I’ve started thinking more realistically — what if we end up with a lot of boys? I’m not going to be able to sell them all, and now that we have a butcher in the area who can pick up a live goat and return it nicely packaged and labeled, it’s something we’ve had to seriously consider.

I made a stew in the Instant Pot, and honestly? If someone had told me it was lamb, I would’ve believed them. Goat is kind of like if lamb and beef were combined. I cooked it low and slow with tomatoes and broth, and it was tender and delicious. The cut from the grocery store had some gristle and bone, so it probably wasn’t the best example of the meat, but even so, I really enjoyed it. So yes — if we do end up with a bunch of boys, I feel pretty confident we’ll be calling that butcher.

Winter evenings have also been slower and quieter. With the sun still setting early, we’ve had more time at home. I’ve been working in a new sketchbook with some pencil crayons I picked up, mostly doing studies from stock photos. So far I’ve drawn a lunar moth and a scarab beetle, and I plan to keep going — maybe a butterfly next, then some colour studies. I know my ambition might shift once warmer weather arrives and evenings fill up with garden chores, so I’m enjoying it while I can.

Another thing I meant to get up to recently was crafting — specifically making a birthday card — but that plan was abruptly shut down when my Cricut Maker decided it was done with life. I loaded everything up like usual, did all the normal steps, hit “go,” and instead of cutting, it started flashing a red and white light at me and throwing error messages on the computer. So I called customer service, knowing it was out of warranty but still hopeful they could help me troubleshoot. Nope. Their solution was basically: the machine is totally unresponsive, they don’t have parts, it’s out of warranty, and they can’t replace it — but here’s a $50 coupon toward buying a new one. That’s it. I was honestly shocked. It’s only about four years old. Do these machines really just… stop working after four years? Now I have all the tools and accessories but no machine, and switching brands would mean replacing everything. Eventually I’ll repurchase a newer Maker, but it was really disappointing. These machines aren’t cheap, and you expect them to last longer than that. Don’t they know I need to craft? Okay — rant over.

Addy and I have also been enjoying a new computer game together — a sandbox-style game where you can garden, raise animals, and go adventuring. We’ve also been slowly organizing and actually using our Christmas presents. Addy put up a hat rack so his baseball caps are ready for when he switches out of tuques, and it now lives in our little bathroom-laundry-room-basement hallway space.

One thing I hesitated to talk about was a small health scare I had last week. Addy ended up taking me to the hospital after I started having chest pain and trouble breathing. Without a family doctor, it was the best option, and I’m really glad we went. They took it seriously, ran a lot of tests, and thankfully, my heart is fine. I do need to take some medication and be more mindful about things like sodium, but I have a plan moving forward. It was a long day, but I’m grateful I listened to my body and took the time to take care of myself.

All in all, it’s been a full couple of weeks here on the Funny Farm — funny, exhausting, cozy, stressful, and grounding all at the same time. From winter routines and shifting daylight, to animal shuffles, quiet evenings, and reminders to take care of ourselves too, it feels like one of those seasons where everything happens at once and somehow still settles into a rhythm.

We’re grateful for the slower winter nights, for healthy (and fluffy) animals, for creativity and small comforts, and for the chance to pause and reset before the busy seasons ahead. There’s a hint of spring in the longer days and in the plans quietly forming in the background, but for now we’re still content to move at winter’s pace.

As always, thank you so much for reading and for following along with our little corner of chaos and calm. Until next time! <3